Todd's Cavalcade of Whimsy

Ever since I figured out how to work the “Referrals” feature on my Site Meter visitor counter, I've been obsessed with how people are finding this page. Even though I've been terrible at keeping up with posting, people are still visiting every day. How in the world are they getting here? For the most part, people are clicking on the comments I make at other blogs or web sites (I'd say about 75% of the people coming here are finding their way through my 'internet buddy' at "The CDP").

But then there are "the Others." The Others find my way through search engines like Google, Yahoo!, and MSN. The Others scare me. They scare me because I can see what they were searching for. I can never exactly tell what they are hoping to find; but what's even more upsetting to me is that my page comes up with "relevant" results for some of these searches. So let's take a look at a few of the more "interesting" searches that have led people to my humble Cavalcade of Whimsy.

(A quick aside for people who may not know: When I put various terms below in quotes, it means people were looking for that exact phrase, and only web sites that have those exact words in that exact order will come up with results).

A few searches that don't surprise me (There's porn on the internet now?!):

- sexy legs thumbnail

- feather pillow fight

Ok, so far, not too odd (although I’m intrigued that someone specified “feather” for his pillow fight. No polyester/fiber/cotton blend in that dude’s pillow fights). I guess in a year's worth of posting stuff, I've used those words somewhere and in no particular order. Not exactly relevant to what my site is about, but I can see how that happened.

Let's move on to some fairly random search phrases:

- todd gross weather man

- soft briefcase whimsy

- huffy walking stilts

- indicator deadbolt

- what happens when a bird flies into a wall

Alright. Again, nothing too freaky. I don't like hearing that I'm a gross weather man, but I'm a big boy…I can handle some criticism. And I'd like to thank whoever searched for "soft briefcase whimsy," because that is now officially my favorite new phrase.

And now for three scary ones and two that really amused me:

- toilet whimsy

- "tore off his foot and attacked his limbs and genitals”

- refrigerator corpse

- "i saw mommy kissing" adulterous

- IQ of people watching sports

Yes, I've mentioned "toilet whimsy" before, but it's still freaking me out so I had to mention it again. (I’m still pulling my hair out trying to figure out what this person was hoping to find. The only thing less whimsical to me than a soft briefcase is a toilet, not that there's anything wrong with that...) The "tore off his foot and attacked his limbs and genitals" is a tad off-putting for two reasons: 1) They searched for this exact phrase, as evidenced by the quotes, and 2) they found that exact phrase on this very web site. ( Click here for where I used that icky, icky phrase.) And for those of my dear readers who want to find out everything there is to know about stuffing bodies in refrigerators, apparently my site can help you do that. I’m going to move along quickly here because the whole idea of “refrigerator corpse” linking to my site makes me feel oogy and like I should keep the door locked at all times.

Now we get to the ones that really amused me. It seems I was able to help some dude wanting to delve into the home-wrecking and two-timing origins of a beloved yuletide musical tradition and searched for “’I saw mommy kissing’ adulterous.” You’re welcome. I’m here to help. And lastly, although the search words aren’t necessarily that funny, just the idea that some frustrated non-sports fan out there really wanted to find out the IQ of people watching sports – and then found part of the answer here – really warms my cockles. Er, my heart’s cockles. You know what I mean.

Oh great, I can’t wait to see what search phrases will point here now that I’ve written the word “cockles” three times. As Drudge would say, “Developing…”